Where will I be in five years? If I stay the same, here’s where I’ll be. Is this where I’d like to be? Well, no. Where would I like to be?

There’s where I’d like to be. What’s over there? Why are the things over there any better than the things over here? Well, I don’t want these things. Do I want those things?

Well, I want to be where those things are, so I might want those things. What’s so good about those things?

Well, at least those things aren’t these things. Maybe I don’t want those things. I just don’t want these things. Why don’t I want these things?

These things are not making me happy.

I want to be happy.

Do I deserve to be happy? Maybe not. Why not?

I am bad. I did bad things. Does anyone deserve to be happy? Yes, of course. Why? Well, some people are good. How do I know that?

They do good things. Have I done good things? Oh, I guess I have…but I’m bad. Is someone bad because they’ve done bad things? Not necessarily. Maybe I’m not bad. Maybe I can become good. Maybe I deserve to be happy.

Great, but I’m not. What would make me happy? What about these things here makes me unhappy? Am I unhappy because of these things?

I don’t know…I don’t know why I am unhappy. Is it because I’m bad? Is it because I think I’m bad?

Maybe that is what makes me unhappy. I thought I was bad because I have done bad things. Maybe I am still doing bad things. What bad things am I doing?

What bad things am I doing? Surely I would know if I was doing bad things. I can’t be doing bad things. I am good.

What bad things am I doing? Maybe I don’t treat myself as well as I should. Maybe I deserve to be treated well.

What bad things am I doing? Maybe I don’t treat others well…I don’t even treat others the way I demand for them to treat others.

I don’t act out my own self-proclaimed virtues…

What are my virtues? What do I claim to value? Do I really value those things?

Where do I want to be in five years? Where am I now?

Five years?

I need to do better tomorrow.